Salt's Alternate Universe

So last we spoke I had been spending a lot of time in the LA...hanging out with friends new and old and completely hating my life up in Ventura; the only thing keeping me there at that point being my job and my roommate who didn't want me to abandon her before she moves away in December.

So that's my newest update. I hope everyone else on here is doing great too. I feel like I've finally found my niche in California and oh my god I am so glad I didn't just run away like I was almost prepared to do!

work

My poor, poor Vox. Sitting unused and lonely for the past...what...like 3 months now? I finally decided today, after yet another high energy, positive weekend, that I'm in a good enough place that maybe I can start writing in my blog again. I could have been keeping up with it before this point, but I haven't really had anything positive to write about and I didn't want everyone to think that I was a total Debbie Downer. Truth is, I have been a pretty sad and confused lady for the past several months. Things were just not going right for me. I was drinking too much and hanging out with a bad crowd. I know that sounds awfully after-school-specially, but it was my pathetic reality. At this point, however, I have gotten myself pretty well out of it. It's nice to know that I am still capable of being happy since I was starting to doubt it for a second there.

I used to write blogs about my boyfriend and our friends and our new house, etc. Well I dumped him 4 months ago and have subsequently been ejected from the aforementioned house and stopped speaking to the aforementioned "friends" (who really turned out to be no kind of friends at all so I'm really much better off). My best girl friend sold me out for a guy that she had been dating for only a few months. I made a couple really stupid boy-related decisions where I dated two complete losers that in no way shape or form deserved me. I'm sorry if that sounds cocky, but if you ever saw these guys you'd understand. I live in a very small town and the more I've gotten out and tried to meet new friends (you know...since none of my exes friends will talk to me anymore), the more I have realized that I only like maybe 4 of the people that live here, one of them being my wonderful roommate who then informed me that she is moving back to Germany in the fall. Great. Could it get any better!?

I started weighing my options and as much as it pained me to do this, I decided that I was going to have to cut my losses and leave California; heading back east to live near my mom. My move date would be at the same time as my roommate's. I would just have to stick it out until then. I do love it here...having the beach and the mountains so easily accessible to me all the time is so fantastic, but the people are what have completely ruined it for me.

In the meantime, I stopped drinking during the week and started working out very regularly. I quit going to bars around here all together since there's not anyone I'd ever want to run into at any of them. Literally, I go to work in the morning, gym in the afternoon, and then home to relax and watch TV at night.  Just because I figured I couldn't sit in my house ALL the time, last month I randomly called up a good friend of mine that lives down in the city to see what he was doing that Saturday. I have a pretty solid network of friends in that area; people that I have known for a long time that moved out here from the same place I'm from. I had become so lost in this little small town bubble that I hadn't even gone down to see any of them in months and months. I figured I might as well get my visits in with them before I moved back to the other side of the country.

That first weekend I spent down there was like an epiphany for me. I had the most incredible time...met so many positive, upbeat, friendly folks and had such a great time with my old friends. Since that first time I went down, I have been back every single weekend...deciding that rather than forfeit the things I love about California to move back east before I was really ready to, I could just try the big city thing instead.  I grew up in a city my whole life and now I realize how much I have missed that for the past two years. And obviously the fact that there are a bunch of familiar faces down there makes it just that much more perfect.

So now I'm job hunting again. I have a place squared away that I can stay when I move down there with a girl friend of mine from back east. Every day I am getting more and more anxious to get the hell out of here. The city is already much more my home than this little town ever was.

So yay! I'm back and hopefully I will only have happy, wonderful things to talk about on here rather than the miserable shit I could have been writing about. :-)

What was your worst hairstyle decision ever?

I feel like I may have written about this one time in the past, but by far the worst thing to ever happen to my head occurred at a local salon, which is now ironically closed down. I went early on a Saturday morning only to be greeted by a WAY too bright eyed woman who was literally SHOUTING at me as she asked if I would like some coffeeteawaterjuicepastries....just thinking about it makes my brain hurt all over again.

So then she proceeds to shampoo me and ask me what exactly I would like done today. So I suggest to her that maybe I would like to try bangs. My hair had gotten really long and I wanted to keep it that way, so if she could just cut the split ends and add the fringe, I'd be good to go. The first snip of her scissors, however, sent a VERY long piece of hair falling to the floor, and I instantly knew that no good would come of this.

I was so tired and out of it that I zoned into my own little world and she hacked away at my hair. I don't know why I didn't try to stop her. I must have been in some sort of shock or something. Then it was all over and she begins to load about 50 pounds of product into my hair all the while exclaiming about how fantastic it looks and how happy I will be with the results. It was then that I actually realized what had happened here. She had given me new layers. I had not asked for them....and there were about eight of them. My hair had fallen to around the middle of my shoulder blades prior to this fiasco and now the longest layer was above my shoulder. She had also given me bangs, but literally they went ALL THE WAY AROUND MY HEAD. I wanted to cry and scream and punch her in the face.

But I didn't do any of those things. I paid and left as quickly as I could.

Over the next week I considered shaving my head, getting extensions, hiding in my room for the next several months. Then I discovered one hairstyle that looked passable and literally ended up wearing my hair that way for 2 months until it was long enough to do anything else with.

I found out later that she had been let go shortly after she did my hair....although I still never recommended that place to anyone else.

What's your best tax tip?

Do them early. Mine were done at the beginning of February and I had all my money by the middle of the month. It saves a lot of stress in the long run.

Seriously though...I don't really know why people wait so long. Taxes are easy.

What are some charitable causes that you support or would like to support?

There is actually a charity that I support each year. Well each year since 2005.

At the end of 2004, my stepmother succumbed to a brain tumor that had plagued her for many years. She left behind my dad and my three little brothers (now aged 12, 10 and 8). It's been a rough road for all of them and I'm just hoping that the kids are able to grow up well adjusted and happy.

Anyway, after her death, I was looking around for charities to get involved with as a way to cope with my own grief. I found exactly what I was looking for in the Race for Hope, an annual 5K run in Washington DC supporting the Brain Tumor Society. I got together a team of several of my closest friends and we started raising money for the cause. We were (and still are) called Cathie's Crusaders, in loving memory of my stepmom. In all that year we raised over $2000 and participated in the event with my dad and brothers watching in support. It was the most amazing day. I wish I could still make it back for the race every year. 

Unfortunately, I can't really do that. I moved to California that September and haven't been able to run again since. It hasn't stopped me from trying to raise some money though. Last year a friend of mine and I put together another $1000 for the BTS. This year, I am working solo on it and have so far raised just over $300 for the cause. I feel like whatever I can get together will be totally worth it...every little bit helps in the long run!.

Here's a shot of the team back in '05 on that fantastic day!

Cathie's Crusaders - Race for Hope '05

Here's the site if anyone is interested in learning more!

RACE FOR HOPE!!

I feel like I've been on a roller coaster for the past few weeks. I broke up with my guy of two years...then the decision had to be made who was going to stay in the house. I thought I was home free on that one considering that I was talking about moving in there with only my girl friend in the beginning. I felt I had rights to the house. Apparently I'm the only one that did because the other night I got ambushed. After we moved in, the girl's boyfriend got evicted from his house. I thought I was being so nice by saying "sure he can move in here", but that apparently backfired right in my face. This dude was now trying to claim that it was the girl and him that had found the house originally...and she started saying that she wanted to live with him all along, which I DID NOT KNOW. Had I known that, my decision making process in all of this might have been very different. Anyway, this dude said that if my ex moved, that he would go with him. And then the girl was like "ohhh but I want to live with my boyfriend"...who she has been dating for 5 months and we have been friends for 2 years. Long story short, I got ousted. I was miserable. Where the hell was I going to go? I loved that house so much!

Anyway, apparently karma is on my side. I found another roommate in a really nice condo in an even BETTER location with an ocean view for a decent price with all utilities and furniture included (which is great for me because I don't really have any of my own stuff...I sold it when I moved to California). AND she loves cats, so Oskie would be a welcome addition to the family.

My spirits were up...especially because she told me that I could move in next Wednesday and at this point I am SO ready to get away from those backstabbers at the other place. I have been staying with this really sweet guy (who I have been hanging out with a lot...we have been friends awhile, but I really dig him) and he said I can stay until the move. Then yesterday morning, I went home as usual to get ready for work and something seemed odd in the house. Usually Oskar comes right out to greet me when I get back, but he was nowhere to be found. I looked high and low for him...in the closets, cabinets, under the bed, everything. Then I saw it...the open window in the kitchen. One of my completely irresponsible ex-roommates had apparently forgotten to close it. Oskar was gone.

Yesterday I took off work yet again so I could make posters, hang them up, and sit crying by the open back door with his food waiting to see if he would come home. The hours passed and passed and still there was no sign of my little best friend. My ex came home and I went out to do some errands, stopping for a can of tuna fish on the way back. It's Oskie's favorite. I swear it must have taken about 5 minutes after I mixed some of the fish in with his other food before he ran in the back door. I almost had a heart attack...I have never been so happy and relieved...probably in my life.

So here I am...FINALLY back in the office and trying to get back into gear with things. This week has been one of the most emotional and hardest that I have had in a long time. I have found out who my real friends are and that's never easy...especially when you get backstabbed by someone who is supposed to be the best of the best. At first I was looking at all of this like it was some kind of punishment, but now I think it might be more like a rebirth of sorts. I wasn't meant to be with my ex...and I wasn't meant to be friends with those people. They were merely stepping stones that would get me to where I belong. There have been several little bright spots in all of this and each day the whole picture is getting clearer.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the new place is everything I am hoping it will be.  Wish me luck.

Well it's official. I'm single again. God I hate this.

I love being in love and I love more than anything and I adore the feeling of being in a secure relationship. I used to be WAY in love with my ex, but over the past 5 months or so, things have just gone downhill to the point of no return. I know in the long run, this is the right decision for everyone involved. I need to move on with my life and try to be happy since it was quite obvious to everyone around us that he was not making me happy. We were pretty much the worst couple of all time. I should be breathing a sigh of relief over here.

Part of me still feels really awful though. 2 years together. Down the drain.

I feel like every relationship happens for a reason. There was a reason that I was supposed to date Sam. I moved to California because of him. Maybe this was all just a stepping stone that will lead me to the guy that I am supposed to be with. I knew I wasn't going to meet the man of my dreams on the east coast and for awhile I was fooled into thinking that Sam was that man. But he's not. He's not a bad guy...he's just not the guy for me.

I feel a little vulnerable right now because it's been a really long time since I have had this kind of uncertainty in my life, but I'm trying to be as cool about it as I can. There's a lot to this story and I am going to spare all of you the grim details of it, but I just felt this morning that I needed to vent a little bit.

It's over. I'm ok with that. The worst part of it all is what comes next...who gets to stay in the house and who goes.

Last week I sent my favorite little saran girl, Keeley, off on the adventure of a lifetime to go visit our friend, Jenny, and her girls, Bow, Win, Isla and Emer, in Sweden!! She just arrived to J yesterday and so far she has already taken some beautiful photos of her and told me that I can upload them to my Flickr and post them on here since her Flickr is acting insane right now.

So without further ado...Kee's first pics in Sweden!

She's learning to play Animal Crossing!!

This is my fave!

Pretty eyelash shot.

Thanks for lending her some PJ's, girls!

Have you ever played matchmaker?  How did it go?

I have actually. Twice. The first time was in high school and a girl that I introduced a guy I had dated several years earlier to a girl who I was friends with. She really liked him and asked me if it was ok if she asked him out. I said of course, since we were old news. That couple is now married and has at least one child.

The second couple was in college and I introduced my boyfriend-at-the-time's friend to one of my friends at a party I was throwing. They hit it off rather well and started to date. That couple is now married and has at least one child.

Why I am so good at getting other people hooked up and married off is beyond me, but I wish I could do the same for myself. I haven't really been talking about this with anyone, but in the shadow of my own breakup (which is pretty much imminent at this point. bleh.) I wish I could take care of myself the way I take care of others.